Scolding ourselves for stupid mistakes in stressful situations, we forget to consider many aspects. Agree that you chose this or that type of behaviour for a reason. Not because you are not smart or quick-witted. Otherwise, you wouldn’t criticize yourself at all. There are things that, unfortunately, we cannot control. Why is that? Let’s figure it out.
Why are we wrong?
You are walking down a dark alley and you hear cries for help. What would you do? And now the correct answer: you can’t say for sure. All the assumptions that you can voice now are only thoughts that are not directly related to your behaviour under stress. Scientists have proven that behaviour directly depends on our brain’s command at one time or another. And if it gave the command to run, you run, regardless of all public orders to help your neighbour. If he gave the command to fight the enemy, you would rush to cries for help.
You cannot say for sure how you would place bets on the 22Bet Kenya website in advance. If in the company of friends you hear the phrase: “I would in this situation …”, specify, but did the person get into such situations in real life? You can only draw conclusions based on practical experience. Everything that lives in the head (thoughts about yourself and your behaviour) is a product of fantasy. That is why, after the stressful situation is over, we think: “we should not have run, but called the police”, or “we should have avoided a fight”, or “we should have clearly formulated the thought, and not muttered something under our breath”. All this is the voice of consciousness, which is guided by social norms but has nothing to do with your real behaviour. In dreams, we are all superheroes.
Do not forget that the lack of oxygen increases stress. As soon as something unpleasant or exciting happens, we automatically try to lie low and stop breathing. And you need to relax and take a few deep breaths: it is better to alternate the type of breathing. First, when inhaling, it is necessary to open the chest, straightening the shoulders.
If you find yourself in a situation of pressure, pause. Let’s imagine that you are surrounded by sellers in a shopping centre and you are one step away from a serious purchase. Or you are ready to trust a new bank and its loan program. Or on vacation, a guide approached you, who is already ready to sell all the excursions for a fun pastime. All of the above situations are stressful. If you are losing ground under your feet, and they demand an immediate decision from you, say “Stop!”. You need a pause to think. Under such pressure, you should not make a decision. Step aside, go home, go where your eyes look, just return to your usual, comfortable situation. Then you will make the right choice. The same goes for ultimatums related to personal relationships.
We can learn to make smart choices thanks to the work of an Italian economist. Carlo Cipolla conducted many experiments and studied Nobel Prize winners, white-collar workers, the poor, residents of different districts and cities. He came to the conclusion that in any social group there are 4 types of people: Fools, Simpletons, Smarties and Bandits. And everywhere – in equal proportions.
Fools harm another person or group of people without getting any benefit. Bandits also cause harm, but only for their own benefit. Simpletons bear losses themselves, but bring benefits to others. And wise men benefit both themselves and others.
The most dangerous type, according to Carlo – Fools. First, they do not benefit anyone: neither themselves nor others. Secondly, their logic is impossible to predict, it is always inaccessible, before it “even the gods are powerless.” When you find yourself in an extreme situation, try to find a solution that will be useful to everyone involved in the situation, including you.